a real post

i understand how much i use this blog
and how incredibly little i use it.

the past few weeks have been weird.
yici says its army,
i find it depressing but perhaps not entirely unexpected.

i refer to my increasing withdrawal from the world
incapability to talk to many of the people whom i’ve loved talking to
incapability to socialise
and a general increase in my predominant jadedness, which of course could likely be the reason to everything else.

my apologies to everyone whom i’ve given a sub par effort in caring to talk
i can’t understand it,
it just isn’t something instinctive anymore
and it depresses me because there was a time when socialising seemed like such an easy thing to do
getting to know new people and stuff.

it makes me wish that i could just wake up one day
in a new place in a new time with no memory no inhibition
just a chance to start afresh on a new challenge that hasn’t already made me bored with life

i’m also sick with a law interview which i’m bound to fuck up coming in 5 days.

pick and roll

~ by chanb on June 11, 2009.